Eugenie Scott of the National Center for Science Education, Oct. 11-15 on Religion For Life!

Eugenie Scott, executive director of the National Center for Science Education will be in Nashville October 27th. The title of her presentation is "Why the Tennessee Academic Freedom Act Matters to YOU." She is my guest on Religion For Life to discuss this legislation, offer history and insights to the evolution/creationism controversy, and promote the teaching of science.



Listen via livestream…

Thursday, October 18th at 8 pm on WETS, 89.5.
Sunday, October 21st at noon on WEHC, 90.7.
Sunday, October 21st at 2 pm on WETS, 89.5.
Monday, October 22nd at 1 pm on WEHC, 90.7.
Via podcast beginning October 23rd.

Trying To Evolve

My Lovely and I are driving to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania tomorrow for General Assembly.   Following GA I will be in Louisville, Kentucky with our presbytery's youth mission trip.

I don't know if I will be blogging much from GA.  The whole deal looks exhausting.   I am on the Mid-Councils Committee and I wrote some initial thoughts on that.

You can follow the action at PC-Biz.  My committee is number 5.

You can also watch the plenary session live. 

It also might be fun to follow on Twitter.  The hashtag is #ga220.

I look forward to meeting old friends, making new ones, considering the business of the church and promoting Evolution Sunday and the Clergy Letter Project via this commissioner's resolution that I will present.   Here it is.  Watch for it on the big screen!

Here is my interview with the founder of the Clergy Letter Project, Dr. Michael Zimmerman on Religion For Life.


__________________________ overtures the 220th General Assembly (2012) of the Presbyterian Church (USA) to

1)  join with the General Conference of the United Methodist Church, the Southeast Florida Diocese of the Episcopal Church, the Southwestern Washington Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, and with 12,794 members of Christian Clergy, 482 Rabbis of Judaism and 251 Clergy of Unitarian Universalists in endorsing the Clergy Letter Project and the Christian Clergy Letter printed below:

Within the community of Christian believers there are areas of dispute and disagreement, including the proper way to interpret Holy Scripture. While virtually all Christians take the Bible seriously and hold it to be authoritative in matters of faith and practice, the overwhelming majority do not read the Bible literally, as they would a science textbook. Many of the beloved stories found in the Bible – the Creation, Adam and Eve, Noah and the ark – convey timeless truths about God, human beings, and the proper relationship between Creator and creation expressed in the only form capable of transmitting these truths from generation to generation. Religious truth is of a different order from scientific truth. Its purpose is not to convey scientific information but to transform hearts.

We the undersigned, Christian clergy from many different traditions, believe that the timeless truths of the Bible and the discoveries of modern science may comfortably coexist. We believe that the theory of evolution is a foundational scientific truth, one that has stood up to rigorous scrutiny and upon which much of human knowledge and achievement rests. To reject this truth or to treat it as “one theory among others” is to deliberately embrace scientific ignorance and transmit such ignorance to our children. We believe that among God’s good gifts are human minds capable of critical thought and that the failure to fully employ this gift is a rejection of the will of our Creator. To argue that God’s loving plan of salvation for humanity precludes the full employment of the God-given faculty of reason is to attempt to limit God, an act of hubris. We urge school board members to preserve the integrity of the science curriculum by affirming the teaching of the theory of evolution as a core component of human knowledge. We ask that science remain science and that religion remain religion, two very different, but complementary, forms of truth.

2)  to designate the 2nd Sunday in February as Evolution Sunday to recognize the influence that the Theory of Evolution has had in changing the world view of our natural environment.

Rationale:

This overture is brought in the spirit of faith that joyfully acknowledges
that God brings all things into being by the Word. (W-1.2001),
that God transcends creation and cannot be reduced to anything within it (W-1.2002),
that God created the material universe and pronounced it good, and
that the material world reflects the glory of God. (W-1.3031), and,
with the understanding that in prayer we earnestly thank God for creation and providence. (W-3.3613)

Evolution has been wrongly viewed in some Christian communities as contrary to Christian beliefs. As a scientific theory based solidly on extensive scientific evidence, it has shaped our thinking in the natural sciences and has become the underlying theory for numerous medical advances. As a scientific theory it does not contradict the existence of God, but can be seen as a natural, creative process in God's creation.

In a recent study of why young people are leaving the church, 29% of the youth reported being discouraged by the church's antagonistic view of science, and that many young people are “turned off by the creation-versus-evolution debate.” The research also “shows that many science-minded young Christians are struggling to find ways of staying faithful to their beliefs and to their professional calling in science-related industries.”

(Ref. You Lost Me: Why Young Christians are Leaving the Church...and Rethinking Faith. David Kinnaman, 2011, The Barna Group.)

The 214th General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (USA) has stated that it:

1. Reaffirms that God is Creator, in accordance with the witness of Scripture and the Reformed Confessions.
2. Reaffirms that there is no contradiction between an evolutionary theory of human origins and the doctrine of God as Creator.
3. Encourages State Boards of Education across the nation to establish standards for science education in public schools based on the most reliable content of scientific knowledge as determined by the scientific community.
4. Calls upon Presbyterian scientists and scientific educators to assist congregations, presbyteries, and the public to understand what constitutes reliable knowledge.

Other denominations have also recognized the compatibility of modern science and theology. For example, The Book of Discipline of The United Methodist Church - 2008 states, in part, "We recognize science as a legitimate interpretation of God’s natural world. We affirm the validity of the claims of science in describing the natural world and in determining what is scientific. We preclude science from making authoritative claims about theological issues and theology from making authoritative claims about scientific issues. We find that science’s descriptions of cosmological, geological, and biological evolution are not in conflict with theology."


The Clergy Letter Project, http://www.theclergyletterproject.org/ founded by Dr. Michael Zimmerman, and signed by nearly 13,000 Christian clergy has helped clergy and congregations present the scientific theory of Evolution in a manner that respects and engages a thinking faith. 

Thus it is fitting to endorse The Clergy Letter Project and to set aside the 2nd Sunday in February as Evolution Sunday to celebrate the importance of evolution by designating the birthday (12 February 1809) of the founder of evolutionary theory, Charles Darwin, as Evolution Sunday.

Anti-Gay Views Are Not a Faithful Part of the Reformed Tradition

Here is a fine article in Salon, Christianity's anti-gay stance backfires.

59 percent of teenagers who grow up as church-going Christians abandon their faith in adulthood. One of the major reasons is the gay rights issue. Overall, the perception–a largely correct one, I’d add–is that modern conservative Christianity is dominated by sex-phobic bigots who use God as a cudgel to beat all sorts of people, but especially gays and lesbians. No wonder many in the younger generation want out.

I think that my denomination, the PCUSA, actually has a chance of not looking too idiotic and bigoted once we finally stop pandering to the anti-gay faction of the church. Let them go. Here is a place for them.

Whether they go or not, it really doesn't matter. What we need to do is simply do the right thing, such as pass the marriage equality overtures at this upcoming General Assembly. I hope the commissioners will also approve a resolution affirming Evolution Weekend and the Clergy Letter Project that I plan to introduce, putting our denomination clearly on record as supportive of science.

Another of the reasons cited in the book You Lost Me, referred to in the Salon article, is the anti-science perception the youth have of Christianity.   In the eyes of your kids and grandkids, Christianity isn't just dated and boring, we have crossed the line.  Christians are a bunch of superstitious bigots. We have earned that label.  

I tend to agree, in part, with an opinion by Henry Greene in Presbyweb.   Rev. Greene was criticizing a statement by the GAPJC regarding one of the many cases the anti-gay crowd continues to file against gay clergy.   The statement reads:

Such thoughtful disagreement among reasonable and faithful Presbyterians is itself an important and faithful part of the Reformed tradition.

Rev. Greene disagrees.   He doesn't think both sides, anti-gay vs. equality can both be faithful positions.    Unless you translate the meaning of "faithful" as simply being stubborn, one side clearly is not "faithful."

I agree.  They are opposite positions. 

Rev. Greene doesn't spell out which position he thinks is the faithful one.   I will.  It is not a reasonable and faithful interpretation of scripture, our tradition, and basic human decency to deny equality to LGBT people and to enshrine prejudice under the cloak of holy writ. 

Those who attack, bully, berate, and bear false witness about LGBT people are not faithful by any definition of the word.   No matter how much they try to disguise their prejudice with piety it is still prejudice.  When those who know better, when those who know that second class status leads to violence, when those who know that the right wing is harming human beings, our churches, and society, and yet continue to pander to them by calling their hateful and bigoted views "faithful" we drive away not only our youth but any decent person who happens to observe the church from the outside.    We make a mockery of the message of Jesus.

Obviously, those with harmful views don't think they are harmful.  They think they are all about love and righteousness.   So we can have some pity on them.  They know not what they do.   Who knows, maybe one day like poor old Saul, they will be blinded on the Damascus Road.  It does happen.

In the meantime, we do them, nor the church, nor actual human beings who are harmed by religiously disguised homophobia any favors by pretending that anti-gay rhetoric is "a faithful part of the Reformed Tradition."    It isn't.  It is time to be clear about that.

Evolution Sunday and the Clergy Letter Project

Here is some fun. My church board has submitted two overtures to the presbytery to send on to the General Assembly regarding Evolution Sunday and the Clergy Letter Project.  I honestly have no idea whether or not these will pass in our presbytery.  But the debate will be fun!

Here is the first one:

Overture to the Holston Presbytery from the Session of First Presbyterian Church of Elizabethton, TN.

The Presbytery of Holston overtures the 220th General Assembly (2012) of the Presbyterian Church (USA) to designate the 2nd Sunday in February as Evolution Sunday to recognize the influence that the Theory of Evolution has had in changing the world view of our natural environment.

Rationale:

Evolution has been wrongly viewed in some Christian communities as contrary to Christian beliefs. As a scientific theory based solidly on extensive scientific evidence, it has shaped our thinking in the natural sciences and has become the underlying theory for numerous medical advances. As a scientific theory it does not contradict the existence of God, but can be seen as a natural, creative process in God's creation.

In a recent study of why young people are leaving the church, 29% of the youth reported being discouraged by the church's antagonistic view of science, and that many young people are “turned off by the creation-versus-evolution debate.” The research also “shows that many science-minded young Christians are struggling to find ways of staying faithful to their beliefs and to their professional calling in science-related industries.”

(Ref. You Lost Me: Why Young Christians are Leaving the Church...and Rethinking Faith. David Kinnaman, 2011, The Barna Group.)

The 214th General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (USA) has stated that it:

1. Reaffirms that God is Creator, in accordance with the witness of Scripture and the Reformed Confessions.
2. Reaffirms that there is no contradiction between an evolutionary theory of human origins and the doctrine of God as Creator.
3. Encourages State Boards of Education across the nation to establish standards for science education in public schools based on the most reliable content of scientific knowledge as determined by the scientific community.
4. Calls upon Presbyterian scientists and scientific educators to assist congregations, presbyteries, and the public to understand what constitutes reliable knowledge.

Other denominations have also recognized the compatibility of modern science and theology. For example, The Book of Discipline of The United Methodist Church - 2008 states, in part, "We recognize science as a legitimate interpretation of God’s natural world. We affirm the validity of the claims of science in describing the natural world and in determining what is scientific. We preclude science from making authoritative claims about theological issues and theology from making authoritative claims about scientific issues. We find that science’s descriptions of cosmological, geological, and biological evolution are not in conflict with theology."

Thus it is fitting to set aside the 2nd Sunday in February as Evolution Sunday to celebrate the importance of evolution by designating the birthday (12 February 1809) of the founder of evolutionary theory, Charles Darwin, as Evolution Sunday.

And the second:

Overture to the Holston Presbytery from the Session of First Presbyterian Church of Elizabethton, TN.

We bring this overture in the spirit of faith that joyfully acknowledges
that God brings all things into being by the Word. (W-1.2001),
that God transcends creation and cannot be reduced to anything within it (W-1.2002),
that God created the material universe and pronounced it good, and
that the material world reflects the glory of God. (W-1.3031), and,
with the understanding that in prayer we earnestly thank God for creation and providence. (W-3.3613)

The Presbytery of Holston overtures the 220th General Assembly (2012) of the Presbyterian Church (USA) to join with the General Conference of the United Methodist Church, the Southeast Florida Diocese of the Episcopal Church, the Southwestern Washington Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, and with 12,794 members of Christian Clergy, 482 Rabbis of Judaism and 251 Clergy of Unitarian Universalists in endorsing the Clergy Letter Project and the Christian Clergy Letter printed below:

Within the community of Christian believers there are areas of dispute and disagreement, including the proper way to interpret Holy Scripture. While virtually all Christians take the Bible seriously and hold it to be authoritative in matters of faith and practice, the overwhelming majority do not read the Bible literally, as they would a science textbook. Many of the beloved stories found in the Bible – the Creation, Adam and Eve, Noah and the ark – convey timeless truths about God, human beings, and the proper relationship between Creator and creation expressed in the only form capable of transmitting these truths from generation to generation. Religious truth is of a different order from scientific truth. Its purpose is not to convey scientific information but to transform hearts.


We the undersigned, Christian clergy from many different traditions, believe that the timeless truths of the Bible and the discoveries of modern science may comfortably coexist. We believe that the theory of evolution is a foundational scientific truth, one that has stood up to rigorous scrutiny and upon which much of human knowledge and achievement rests. To reject this truth or to treat it as “one theory among others” is to deliberately embrace scientific ignorance and transmit such ignorance to our children. We believe that among God’s good gifts are human minds capable of critical thought and that the failure to fully employ this gift is a rejection of the will of our Creator. To argue that God’s loving plan of salvation for humanity precludes the full employment of the God-given faculty of reason is to attempt to limit God, an act of hubris. We urge school board members to preserve the integrity of the science curriculum by affirming the teaching of the theory of evolution as a core component of human knowledge. We ask that science remain science and that religion remain religion, two very different, but complementary, forms of truth.

(see: http://www.theclergyletterproject.org/Christian_Clergy/ChrClergyLtr.htm)

Evolution Weekend!

My favorite day of the year is approaching.  It is Evolution Sunday.  On the Sunday closest to Charles Darwin's birthday, February 12th, we honor the contributions of Charles Darwin and of science.     Dr. Julie Wade, retired professor of Biology at Milligan College will lead the Adult Forum.   Here is the scoop:

Evolution via natural selection was first introduced by Charles Darwin in 1859 with the publication of his book “The Origin of Species.” His research became the foundation on which generations of biologists have continued to build. In this talk we shall examine four major areas of research in the last 150 years that have strengthened his theory in ways he never dreamed possible. These areas include:

1. Darwin’s original theory of natural selection
2. The Modern Synthesis of the 1930’s and 1940’s that combined genetics with evolution
3. The discovery of DNA structure and the sequencing of several genomes, including our own
4. The role of evolutionary embryology and development which is referred to as Evo-Devo

Evo-Devo has revolutionized our understanding of the origin of species because it has explained how animals have evolved from the Cambrian Period (over 500 million years ago) to the present using many of the same basic “tool kit” genes!! Such an understanding of life on earth is critical if we are to be intelligent stewards of our planet.

The Adult Forum is at 9:45.

At eleven a.m., worship will celebrate our unique place in the cosmos and our unique responsibility to future generations.

After worship, the congregation will take a field trip to the Gray Fossil Site at 1 p.m.   This is for all ages.  There will be activities for children and a lecture by paleontologist, Dr. Blaine Schubert, about Darwin.

To get you in the mood, check my radio interview with Michael Zimmerman, founder of Evolution Weekend and the Clergy Letter Project.    You can listen via livestream Thursday at 8 p.m. and Sunday at 2 p.m. on WETS, and via livestream Sunday at noon on WEHC.

Check out Symphony of Science!

May the spirit of Darwinmas provide clear thinking the year 'round!

Michael Zimmerman and Evolution Weekend on Religion For Life

Dr. Michael Zimmerman, a biologist, is the founder of the Clergy Letter Project and Evolution Weekend. Over 13 thousand Christian, Jewish, and Unitarian Universalist clergy have signed a letter in support of teaching evolution in public schools. On the Sunday closest to Darwin's Birthday (February 12th) faith communities all over the United States celebrate Evolution Weekend by honoring science and religion.

On the next Religion For Life, Dr. Zimmerman speaks candidly about the state of science education and the need for scientific literacy. He writes on the topic of science and religion at the Huffington Post.

Listen via livestream...

Monday, February 6th at 1 pm on WEHC, 90.7.

Thursday, February 9th at 8 pm on WETS, 89.5.

Sunday, February 12th, at noon on WEHC, 90.7.

Sunday, February 12th, at 2 pm on WETS, 89.5.

Via podcast beginning February 13th.

Sermon for Evolution Sunday

I have been thinking about my sermon for Evolution Sunday. I am not going to debate creationism, or intelligent design or defend evolution like I did last year. I think for most folks in my congregation, evolution is a given. They recognize that the Universe is at least 14 billion years old and Earth is over 4 billion years old, and that species have evolved and died off and it is on-going and random.

What I find myself struggling with is the consequence of science for our self-understanding. Science can make us feel small. Things formerly explained by the gods, now have more naturalistic explanations. Humans are not necessarily the apex of creation. In the scheme of things we have more in common with our mammal cousins on Earth than we have differences with them. Evolution and astronomy in particular have also taken "the end" out of things. We can't think of an end to history. Perhaps human history, but even without humans the planets will spin and the Universe will continue.

I think that can create anxiety. How could it go on without me? It might also make us question ideas such as eternal life or the survival of my memory or self-hood after death. Science doesn't necessarily eliminate that concept, but it does challenge us to question it and to re-frame it. Not only do we think of ourselves as small in light of science but our social settings can also make us feel small. We are consumers, citizens of varioius states, mostly less than adequate and not very powerful. We feel that we have little control over much of what happens to us or to our world.

How do we find (or create) meaning and peace given this? Those are some of the questions I am going to address on Sunday. During our adult forum at 9:45 am, Jim Bitter, counseling professor at ETSU and a member of our church, is going to facilitate a discussion on conflict resolution. I think much of what he says may be helpful in creating meaning for ourselves as individuals and as communities of people. He said I could put his notes on a web page. So here they are. If you are in the neighborhood, join us!

Peace Within, Peace Between, and Peace Among
--Jim Bitter

Peace Within: A Review

All of us are in a more or less constant movement from normal feelings of being less than we believe is possible to becoming more of what we want to be; that is, our life is a movement from perceived minus-positions to desired plus-positions. In the end, we hope to become complete, whole, self-actualized, or even perfect. Most of us know we will never get there, but it is in the striving that we form the basis for our living. It is in the striving that we declare who we are, what we are worth, and how we want to be remembered.

Each of us is unique, and it is impossible, therefore, to say that there is a right way for everyone to live. There are, however, some general guidelines for living a meaningful life and for achieving a sense of peace within. Coming to a place of internal peace is the starting point for achieving peace between individuals and among the multitude of others.

The Guidelines:

• We are social being and interdependent. We cannot do everything alone, nor can we leave others to fend for themselves: The meaning of our lives is the contributions we make to others.

• We are all unique and different from each other and yet we are more or less the same. The human genome for every person is 99.9% the same, and all of our differences are accounted for in the .1% that is left. Interest in and appreciation for differences in others is essential for peace: These are the capacities that replace fear and prejudice.

• We have the capacity for intimacy and intimacy flows from other capacities for friendliness, trustworthiness and sharing.

• We have the capacity to think, and thinking rationally is generally better than being in a state of triggered emotional reactivity.

• We have the capacity to feel, and having access to a full range of emotions is generally better than not feeling at all or turning off our feelings.

• We are bound to this earth, this planet, and it provides so much of what sustains us in very real ways: Those who live more peaceful lives find ways to spend at least a half an hour quietly in nature almost every day. Appreciating nature also means living in harmony with the planet so that it may sustain us and future generations.

• If we must compare ourselves to others, we ought to compare ourselves to those who are less fortunate and be thankful for the gifts we have been given.

• In general, when we seek goals, we will be happier if the goals we choose are realistic and reachable rather than perfect and flawless.

• Happiness is supported by our courage to be imperfect. We are human beings. We make mistakes. It takes no courage to be perfect. It does, however, take courage to accept ourselves as merely human. Our goal in life ought to be to embrace our humanness, to become more fully human, not to burden ourselves with goals of perfection. Being more fully human is reflected in our willingness not to take ourselves too seriously and to have and express a sense of humor.

• Mistakes require of us only that we correct what we can, apologize when appropriate, and forgive self and others for real and perceived transgressions.

• Peace within is intimately connected to being fully present. It encompasses awareness of self and others; contact characterized by caring, connectedness, cooperation, confidence, capability, compassion, and courage (the 7 C’s); and experiencing that enriches us and opens us to further experiences rather than constricts. Being fully present means trying to love as much as we can from whatever position we are currently in. Peace within avoids self-absorption.

Peace Between: The Process of Conflict Resolution

Conflict flows from the recognition that we are different; we speak of having differences with each other. In and of itself, conflict is neither good nor bad, but we can make it one or the other. Successful conflict resolution starts with internal peace and extends that peacefulness through mutual respect to others. Love is very helpful, but it does not prevent fighting or conflicts that diminish the individuals involved in the conflict. Mutual respect does prevent these things: It is expressed in a valuing of self and others.

Some signs that mutual respect is missing:

• Blaming & Criticism: Sacrificing others to preserve self

• Placating: Sacrificing self to preserve others

• Super Reasonableness: Sacrificing self and others to preserve what is right

• Irrelevance: Sacrificing self, others, and principles to distract, distort, and avoid

• Contempt: Diminishing others to elevate self

• Defensiveness: Protecting self at all costs

• Stonewalling: Passive resistance—Taking the stance that no one can make you do anything

• Withdrawal: Avoiding conflict by refusing to face it

• Seeking power rather than agreement

Some signs that mutual respect is present:

• Interest in the point of view of others

• Caring about the well-being of self and others

• Confidence in being able to speak for self

• The courage to listen to others with appreciation

• A desire to be heard rather than to win

• A willingness to consider alternatives to personal desires

• Trusting in the good will of others

• Replacing judgment with understanding

• Seeking agreement rather than power

Four Basic Steps to Solving Conflict:

1. Approach conflict resolution from a position of mutual respect

• Don’t try to problem-solve when you are angry: To fight with someone is to empower their oppositional stance

• From a calm state, try to understand the other person’s point of view and still express your own clearly: The goal of any discussion is to be firm, but kind.

• Be willing to listen and ask for a respectful hearing yourself: Neither fight nor give in.

• No one can be humiliated if they do not feel humiliated: You cannot always choose what will happen to you, but you can choose how you will respond.

• Effective problem-solving starts from a position of well-being and high self-esteem (peace within); it includes the conviction that we are valuable and valued human beings who can stand up for ourselves without resorting to power over others

• When possible, validate the other person’s position without losing your own: “If I saw the world/life/problem the way you do, I can certainly understand why you would hold the position you do.”

2. Pinpoint the real issue

• In what way, am I feeling less than? In what way is the other person feeling the same way? In what way do both of us feel like we may lose before we even start?

• What goal or desire or agenda do I have in this conflict? What goal or desire might the other person be trying to express?

• What is the private logic that underlies the other person’s position? What is my own private logic about?

• How can each person make the other person feel understood?

3. Seek mutual agreement

• There is no such thing as a lack of communication or a lack of cooperation: Everything happens in relationship, even conflict and fighting. I cannot have a fight with you unless I communicate my interest in fighting with you, and you agree to join the fight and cooperate in maintaining it.

• Start with the conviction that the only person you can change is yourself: It is the first lesson we all need to learn and the generally the last one we enact.

• Think outside of the box: The answer does not have to be either your answer or the other person’s answer: What is a third, fourth, or fifth possibility? Brainstorming can include even bad ideas at least initially.

• The goal is to answer the question: How could we both satisfy our needs? How can all parties come out ahead?

4. Seek mutual responsibility in decision-making

• Unless all parties to a conflict participate in the decision-making, there is no agreement, and the conflict will continue

• What ideas can each person offer as a solution?

• What is each person willing to do to solve the problem?

• You know what a person is really willing to do not by what she or he says but by what is actually done.

• The conflict is over when each person feels understood and valued.

A conflict-resolution conversational format:

• “I have something serious I would like to discuss with you. Is this a good time for you, or is there another time that would be better?”

• “Here is a problem I am having: (state it using I-statements as much as possible).”

• “Do you understand what I am saying? Does it make sense to you?”

• “Thank you for understanding what I have said.” Or “Let me clarify what I said or meant so I will be clearer about what is important to me.”

• “I would like to know what you are thinking and feeling about all of this.”

• “Let me see if I am understanding you: Do you mean . . . ?”

• “If I am understanding you, the important issue for you is _______.”

• “Do you have some sense of what the important issue for me might be?”

• “If I am understanding myself well enough, I think the important issue for me might be _____________.”

For problem-solving:

• “How could we both get what we need/want in this situation? What are your ideas—all of them?”

• “I favor trying this idea. Which one do you favor?”

• “Thank you for taking the time to work on this with me.”

For requesting behavior change:

• “I have a request to make of you: Would you be willing to hear it?”

• “I would like to ask you if it would be possible for you to _________ .”

• “Is there any part of this request that you could do or do you have another solution that might work?”

• “Thank you for hearing my request and being willing to talk about this with me.”

Peace Among

The world in which we live is increasingly developing according to the democratic principles inherent in social equality. Social equality does not mean that we are all the same. We are not. We do, however, have an equal right to be valued and respected. This is true in all relationships: the ones between men and womyn, between adults and children, between labor and management, between races and cultures, between those who are heterosexual and those who are gay/lesbian/bi-sexual/transgendered, between political parties, between religions, and between nations. When we come to understand all problems as being social in nature, then the kind of relationships we generate can be the only focus of true conflict resolution.

No conflict can be resolved without understanding the other side better than or at least as well as our own. No conflict can be resolved by a resort to power rather than agreement. No conflict can be resolved with one side winning and one losing. For a conflict to keep going, all parties must agree that it should keep going. For a conflict to end, it takes only one party to withdraw or refuse to fight.

Fear is the great enemy of peace. Human connectedness, caring, compassion, understanding, interest in others, and courage mark the end of fear. I wish you peace within, peace between, and peace among.