Shuck and Jive

Friday, April 13, 2012

I Want to be Vice-Moderator of the Presbyterian Church General Assembly

I am officially tossing my hat into the ring to be Vice-Moderator of the 220th General Assembly (2012) of the Presbyterian Church (USA).

Please pick me.

As I reported previously, Parker Williamson of the LayMAN heralded with trumpets my election as commissioner from Holston Presbytery.   He even included this grand pronouncement in the print edition!    I have been as giddy as a schoolboy ever since.

I now realize that this must be a calling from the Lord.

I humbly offer myself as Vice-Moderator.  
I know that candidates who run for moderator don't really run.  They stand for moderator.   What is the correct posture for a vice-moderator?  Crouch?  Limp?  Creep?  Waddle?

I just want you candidates for moderator to know, that whatever posture is required, I will serve.

For those candidates who have already chosen a crouching mate, rest assured that you can dump him or her.  It is OK.  I am in the race now.  Pick me.  God said to.


  1. And I for one welcome our new crouching overlord! :)

    I have to say, with all honesty, sincerity and seriousness, I can't think of anything more useful or productive coming out of GA than you being chosen as Vice-Moderator, John. That would indeed be teh awesome on all sorts of levels. :)

  2. Alan,

    Thanks for the endorsement! I think I would seriously do a good job at it too! Not to boast or anything : )

  3. I think "fawn" is the appropriate word here.

    Yes, yes. You should definitely fawn.

  4. Hey John!

    You are my favoritist preacher, priest, rabbi, or minister that I know of and if I had any juice within the Presbyterian system I'd be backing you 100 per cent. Good luck in this endeavor!

  5. Slouching toward GA to be born . . . I think the hat should be required attire, and should be passed from moderator to moderator so long as vice is moderated.

    you go, John

  6. I am fawning, slouching, and crouching my way. Thank you for your support, my beloved subjects. My dictatorship will be benevolent and dignified.

  7. You bring new meaning to the saying "go ugly early"!

    May the odds be evah in your favah.

  8. Janet chose another. So I have one more chance. Rev. Randy Branson of Texas. He seems like a nice guy. I think we would make a good team. We could get a good cop/bad cop thing going.

  9. Rev. Branson picked someone else. I believe my crouch for vice-moderator has ended. Thanks for your support!