Shuck and Jive

Opinions expressed here are my own and do not represent the views of the congregation I joyfully serve. But my congregation loves me!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Meaning of Life, Part 56

Zombie -- (Zom-bee): A moving but brain-dead and soul-dead creature in a human body who functions on the biological, moral, spiritual and intellectual precept that everything in existence is there for its consumption and destruction; without awareness or consciousness of the ramifications on any other life forms -- including other zombies.

Zombies are living dead. The only proven recourse for living humans is to avoid contact with zombies as much as possible. Zombies automatically and unquestionably believe in the principle of infinite growth and are incapable of conceptualizing other life paradigms. Zombies believe that everything in the universe must be classified and treated as either left or right... without actually defining the terms or using conveniently changing definitions of them. When faced with shortages of anything, zombies frequently revert to cannibalism by eating the lives of other humans to satisfy their insatiable hunger and arrogant and belligerent stupidity. Zombies prefer to eat the living first, thus forcing them to become zombies.

Zombies cannot hear and do not listen to simple scientific laws or do simple arithmetic. Zombies are known for their ability to ask extremely stupid questions and to try and engage in futile arguments with the living, thus paralyzing or retarding useful debate and discussion. Zombies are closely related to vampires in that they exist to suck life and energy out of anything that has life and energy. The zombie paradigm is one of infinite growth in that zombies always need to create more zombies.

Zombies can revert back to living status but this usually happens only when zombies are faced with imminent death. Collapsenet will always welcome former-zombies who have become human again. Current zombies are not welcome here.

--Michael Ruppert, Collapsenet, author of Confronting Collapse: The Crisis of Energy and Money in a Post Peak Oil World. He is featured in the film based on his book, Collapse to be released on dvd June 15, 2010.

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