Every Thursday and every 28th of the month will be a way to mark time. I don't know if it will always be like that. Eleven weeks ago our universe was altered. Now I know why the biblical authors used apocalyptic language. Like this from Joel:
Put on sackcloth and lament, you priests;
wail, you ministers of the altar.
Come, pass the night in sackcloth,
you ministers of my God!....
Alas for the day!
For the day of the Lord is near,
and as destruction from the Almighty it comes.
Is not the food cut off
before our eyes,
joy and gladness
from the house of our God?
The seed shrivels under the clods,
the storehouses are desolate;
the granaries are ruined
because the grain has failed.
How the animals groan!
The herds of cattle wander about
because there is no pasture for them;
even the flocks of sheep are dazed....
Blow the trumpet in Zion;
sound the alarm on my holy mountain!
Let all the inhabitants of the land tremble,
for the day of the Lord is coming, it is near—
a day of darkness and gloom...
The earth quakes before them,
the heavens tremble.
The sun and the moon are darkened,
and the stars withdraw their shining.
I never thought I would write this but that is some damn good poetry.
Zach would laugh at me because yesterday I cried when I heard Skeeter Davis. How screwed up is that?
I think that eventually the pain on the day of the week and the day of the month recedes. But not for a long time. And the day of the year? -- as far as I can tell from reading blogs, four, five years later, we are all reeling. And birthdays and anniversaries and holidays -- ruined.
ReplyDeleteIt takes whatever time it takes. Not that I know what "it" is.
This November 22 will mark 15 years since I became an orphan at the age of 36. I will always mark it because, frankly, that is just too damn young.
ReplyDeleteBut more so, I mark it every chance I get, when I am introduced to someone's mom or dad; they become my mom or dad for a little while, just so I can feel like someone's kid again.
Someone once told me that instead of grieving on certain days which always brings sorrow...try to remember the good and funny memories that will helpmus to heal. Sending love!
ReplyDeleteKatherine White
Zach would laugh. Holding opposite emotions in one space. You go John.
ReplyDelete