Shuck and Jive

Opinions expressed here are my own and do not represent the views of the congregation I joyfully serve. But my congregation loves me!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

The Latest in Health News

Just in:
Democrats, realizing the success of the President's "Cash For Clunkers" rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan.

President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make this major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. It's called...

"CASH FOR CODGERS" and it works like this: Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in one old person.

The amount the government grants them will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts.

Special "Bonuses" will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their government prescribed weight, and any member of the Republican Party.

Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who consume beef, soda, fried foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, dairy products, bacon, Brussel sprouts, or Girl Scout Cookies.

All codgers will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection. This will insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to keep other codgers in repair.

........ brought to you by Fox News Channel ~ and the people watching believe it!
Blame Jim


  1. That is awesome! I would think a bigger bonus is due if the codger frees up a bed in a government run nursing home.

  2. I think this would be a lot funnier if people didn't believe it.

    SENATORS are saying stuff like this is true.

    (What's especially funny here is that Obama has not sponsored proposed or created a health care reform bill. The only proposed bills have been created by senators and representatives.)

  3. You know, Sarahlynn, I think you are right.

    BTW, check this excellent sermon by Roger Ebert