I usually don't go for these kinds of things. But we have seen the last sign. Jesus is appearing in toast all over this great country. That means we're toast.
It is upon us. Everything is lined up. The rapture will occur in Spring 2009.
Don't believe that website? Then try this one.
Still not convinced? Then listen to Randy.
Rapture Randy not ringing your bell?
How about the Savvy Internet Ladies?
RUREADY? Watch the whole thing. It's only two minutes:
Wasn't someone just asking about a Rapture update? How interesting...
ReplyDeleteAnyway, as for the toast, I'm seeing Daniel Day-Lewis and Marlene Dietrich more than anything.
As for the video, it seemed that everyone who was raptured was wearing a white shirt. Hmmmm. I only have one white shirt. What are the odds the Rapture will occur when my one white shirt is 1) clean, and 2) on my back?
I think the video was a bit heretical. Orthodox Rapture Theologians know that when zapped, the saints will go up a la nude and the clothing will remain in a nice little pile on the pew.
ReplyDeleteGiggles. Heee. I luf spring...all the nuts comes out of the woodworks!
ReplyDeleteMan, you're killing me with this stuff. Excuse me, I have to go pee...
ReplyDeleteMany, many years ago, I used to attend a "bible-believing" Baptist church, and I believed all this dispensational sh--. Now I can't understand why. I enjoy life and would only be dragged kicking and screaming away from it. I guess I'd be "Left Behind" for sure. I'm okay with that. 8^D
ReplyDeleteWell, if you needed one more sign of the end times, here it is:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.npr.org/blogs/politicaljunkie/2009/04/ap_reports_sen_arlen_specter_t.html?sc=fb&cc=fp
That's one great "god" - the one that tosses off that lightning bolt o' rapture and says to the rest... Suckas!
ReplyDeleteWhat crap ass theology and what a crap ass god this shows.
It feeds into every truly awful dynamic of humanity - who can we exclude to make ourselves feel better.
As usual, it becomes all about "us" ("us" being those do-goody types who got raptured away) and so little about "god."
"See," they say, "I was a good little sunbeam for Jesus and I got toast AND raptured." And Jesus barely had to lift a finger.
BTW, I am with you John, where were all the piles of clothes. Frankly I am awaiting a quieter and more peaceful place once this happens. Plus I might score some new clothes and maybe even a good car. That is our reward for not being good sunbeams, so to speak!!! See you when things are way less crowded!!!
In our Thursday study group we read Barbara Rossing's "Rapture Exposed" an excellent book that captures your sentiments Fran about a violent, escapist fantasy religion (a la 'Left Behind').
ReplyDeleteWe also watched a good video series by PBS called 'Apocalypse'. This describes the history of interpretations of Revelation, dispensationalism, the crazy movements in our time etc.
It was produced in the summer of 1999. Would be good to have an update of this apocalyptic religious movement since then.
Great stuff, Fran, but I think all the cars will be wrecked if the bumper sticker on my sister's car is true... "in case of Rapture this car will be driverless."
ReplyDeleteSnad
ReplyDelete"Anyway, as for the toast, I'm seeing Daniel Day-Lewis and Marlene Dietrich more than anything."
I don't see Marlene Dietrich (they both looked like they had beards to me!) but I've always wondered about this Jesus and Mary stuff. People think they see a face on something (water towers, glass doors, potatoes, toast) and automatically it has to be Jesus or Mary. Why not Joseph? Or the Pope? Or President Obama for that matter?
Maybe it wouldn't be a miracle if it wasn't Jesus or Mary?
Weird, huh?