Shuck and Jive

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Jesus Seminar to Be Raptured Tomorrow (Saturday at the Latest)

Hi Friends,

Secretary of Jesus, 9B8 Gamma Sector here.

That Jesus is such a card. He has always been amused by how the Jesus Seminar tries to figure out what he really said from what his followers say he said.

Anyway, Jesus sent me an e-mail and told me that he wants to play a trick this weekend during our Jesus Seminar on the Road in Elizabethton.

He is going to have a celebrity rapture.

He plans on beaming up Hal Taussig and Milton Moreland at some point during their presentation.

Won't that be fun?

  1. So even if you aren't so thrilled about the canonization process of the New Testament or
  2. hearing about the texts that didn't make it into the Bible (Jesus really liked some of them, by the way), won't want to miss Hal and Milton getting zapped up to heaven before your eyes!

Much Love,
Secretary of Jesus 9B8 Gamma Sector


  1. Just when I thought it was safe to start reading your blog again....;)

  2. Uh oh. When you get raptured you arrive in heaven naked??!

    Oh dear.

  3. Let's hope not, Jodie.
    Most of those Rapture-heads look bad enough with clothes on.

    Could you imagine the horror of being greeted by a naked Jerry Falwell?
    What Hell that would be....

  4. Maybe there are two kinds of rapture! Some people go one place, others go to the other.