Shuck and Jive

Monday, October 15, 2007

Magic Beer

Stolen from Madpriest:

A lady walks into a bar on the top floor of a fancy hotel and sees a really good-looking guy sitting at the bar by himself. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking. "Magic Beer," he says.

She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after realizing that there is no one else worth talking to, goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says, "That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?"

"Yes, I'll show you." He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times and comes back in the window. The lady can't believe it: "I bet you can't do that again."

He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window. She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer. So the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what I'm having."

She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window; plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies.

The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know, Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk."


  1. Excellent - and nice to know I'm not the only "vulgarian" in the neighbourhood.

  2. What a bad joke. Magic beer. I love you man!

  3. Awful, just awful. I sent a copy to my pastor (removing a little of the gore--I could only stand to give the woman a broken ankle).

  4. And no, I won't tell the reeeeeeeeeeallly reeeeeeeeeeeealllly dirty one about Superman's other base proclivities (involving Wonder Woman and a surprising cameo at the end).

  5. Oh, no, I really can't---it's just too naughty.

    On the other hand, it was one of the after-credits jokes on "The Vicar of Dibley" and was told by Dawn "I'm Not a Vicar But Play One on Telly" French...

  6. Good grief, I can’t believe the disrespect to the big S I’m reading here. What, you guys got something against illegal aliens? Remember, he’s the last surviving son of an extinct race, yadda yadda…

    Ok, as Dr. Monkey pointed out in a recent thread on his blog, Superman was a bit of a dick, but that was back in the fifties mainly. The late great Christopher Reeve corrected this by redefining him, in an inarguably great first movie (when I say inarguable, I mean I hope everyone doesn't pile on and disagree..)

    Anyway, if you want dirty Superman or comic-related jokes, you should watch just about any movie by Kevin Smith. I believe it was in Mallrats where a couple of guys were speculating how Superman might be able to perform intimate relations with Lois without killing her...

    I see what you mean Flycandler, I think I'll just stop there.

  7. If it makes you feel better, Kevin Smith actually apologizes for making "Mallrats" on the DVD commentary.

    I figure if they can say it on the BBC, it's ok for here.

    (clears throat)

    Superman, after watching the woman noted above plummet to her death, soars out the window looking to have some more naughty fun. After a while, he spots Wonder Woman sunning herself, completely naked and spread-eagled on top of a mountain. Unable to stop his vile urges, he swoops down and makes quick, passionate love, then flies off in a hurry (cuz he's that kind of superhuman). Wonder Woman lifts her head and says, "what the hell was that?"

    The Invisible Man replies, "I don't know, but my bum sure is sore."

    (Don't say I didn't warn you)