Shuck and Jive

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Cheap Church People

I have heard this a number of times now. The shift that waiters and waitresses hate to do is the Sunday afternoon shift. Why?

Quote from a college student:

"That is when the church people come in to eat. They are demanding and lousy tippers."

I have heard it more than once. Sometimes the righteous instead of leaving a tip, leave some bible tract. I mean, really.

If you are a church person, here are commandments for you when eating out. In the language of King Jimmy:

I. Thou shalt be courteous and respectful to thy server.

II. Thou shalt not tip thy server less than 20% of thy total bill. Yea, I saith, 20%! Thy servers make less than three dollars per hour and rely on thy tip. If thou canst afford to eat out, thou canst therefore tip a wage pleasing to the Lord, or I shalt smite thy asseth.

III. If thou must leaveth some literature, be thou pleasant and generous first, and thus will thy witness be faithful.

Thus saith the Lord.

See if thou can handle the job of a waitress.


  1. The small town paper here just had an editorial about this topic -- written by a restaurant owner. The number of waitstaff who wrote in letters agreeing with this was amazing. If you can afford to go out to eat every Sunday, you can afford a living-wage tip for your waiter!

  2. Thanks Alex! It is interesting how many people don't understand how this all works!

  3. Ah, John - you are my hero! I worked as a waitress in a BIG CITY for almost 3 years and saw the same thing. I love your commandments! They are a spiritual footrub to every "dub-dub" (short for "w/w", which is short for waiter/waitress)!

  4. Christians go out and eat at restaurants on the Sabbath? Gasp! I'm shocked! And lousy tippers too? Call a special Session meeting and discipline them! For the lousy tipping I mean

  5. It's an interesting cultural phenomenon. In Japan, tipping is considered insulting; in France, it's rarely done (service charges are included in the bill, SOMETIMES one will round up to the nearest Euro). French colleagues of mine were shocked to learn that tipping is so ingrained in the American psyche that the tax code is written with an assumption of how much a waiter/ress will earn in tips in a year.

  6. Fortunately, as an cultural conservative and evangelical Christian, I already belong to the group of people who are more generous with their money and their time than any other segment of America.