Shuck and Jive

Friday, January 11, 2008

Taste and See!

Jan at A Church for Starving Artists wrote a great post, Pulpit Candy, for those hot looking senior ministers at big steeple churches. Jan writes:

I look at some of these churches and imagine the extraordinary ministries they could offer. They could rock their neighborhoods, if not the world. They have such potential in terms of person power and money, in terms of how they could exemplify resurrection. But they often don't call heads of staff with a fresh, exciting vision. They call people who look like they "should be" Big Steeple Pastors.

The problem is that these men (and I intentionally exclude my sisters here) sometimes look like they came out of central casting in terms of hair, face, and height. They tend to have a doctorate - preferably from Scotland or Switzerland.

I, of course, am thinking of exploiting this. If ya got it, flaunt it, baby!

Here is our new evangelism slogan:

Come on over to First Pres., Elizabethton, to get a taste of Pulpit Candy. You'll keep coming back for more!


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  2. Oh, I suppose. I'll try to be a little more modest, like my daemon says I should be.

  3. John - Thanks for the link and to be fair - it was Shawn Coons who came up with the term.

    Dr. Monkey - it will be a great day (or will it?) when men come to church in droves because a woman is in the pulpit.

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  5. Olympiada,

    I am not sure I am following you now. I was responding to Jan's article and making a joke.

    Maybe it wasn't that funny.

    If you are joking, too, I am not getting it.

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  7. Whoa. This is out of the blue.

    This is a joke. Admittedly, now I see, a bad one.

    Pulpit Candy from Jan's blog has to do with the look (and the way of ministering) you have to have to get a big church job. Jan points out the reality to get such a position one looks like a soap opera star. Her point is that it is about image, not content or vision or direction. People in the big churches don't hire content, vision, or wisdom. I would also add that they do not hire radicals. They hire pulpit candy. It looks and tastes sweet but that's about it.

    Obviously this is not true for all churches, but it is true enough to be a trend. The exception proves the rule.


    Now, here is the joke!! I am NOT pulpit candy. I will not get a big steeple job (and I freaking don't want one) because I am a radical. I am not an ass kisser to the big givers. I say what I think needs to be said. I participate in protest rallies, and put my butt on the line for lgbts and for social justice issues and for religious freedom. I don't want to be any church's pulpit candy. That is why I am in the church I am in. They don't want candy, they want substance.

    That is why I put the goofy picture of myself on there and called it pulpit candy. Irony...

    Get it?!!?

    Ha ha!

    aw forget it...

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  9. OK, we are on a different topic, now.

    Yes, we serve communion once in a while, not every Sunday.

    We don't have bishops. We have a Committee on Ministry. I have not been disciplined. I have been praised, much to the chagrin of my opposition.

    Are you a clergy person?

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  11. Hi Olympiada,

    I thought you were clergy being talked to by your bishop for some blog you had or something.

  12. Jan,

    Oops. I read over your blog and see that you credited Shawn. Read that part too fast. I will correct it.

    Great post, by the way!

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  14. No idea what your gender is. You could tell us if you want. But I have to say, you are making me feel a little uneasy. This is not a forum for dealing with personal issues.

  15. My gender is not important and this is not a personal issue. Taste and see is the call to communion in the Orthodox church during Lent. I do not want any one contacting you so I am going to leave it at that. Forgive me.